Working with Trauma Series: 01 An Introduction to Working with Trauma. Where to Start?

Working with trauma is becoming more and more popular. This is a huge and necessary step on the road to mental health and to building healthy, supportive relationships in everyday life. The popularity and accessibility of the topic does not diminish its seriousness and complexity and does not make it any less painful. More and more often, unfortunately, you can meet people who have experienced re-traumatization because the method or the instructors were not sufficiently supportive and experienced or they did not realize how difficult the subject they were dealing with.

From my own experience, both as a client and as a somatic therapist who has been exploring developmental and trans-generational trauma for 10 years, there are a few basic rules that must be followed in order for such work to bring the desired healing, not more pain.

Creating safety

Creating safe, clear conditions for cooperation is the basis of all the basics. Trauma strips us of our natural sense of security and trust in life. The recovery process is regaining confidence in oneself, in one's own body, in people and in the world; regaining curiosity about the world and the joy of experiencing oneself, being oneself. A relationship with a good therapist, built on respect and benevolent predictability, is already a key aspect of this healing process.

Kindness and gentleness

Both the therapist and the client are to realize that as a result of traumas/difficult experiences, we lose touch with kindness and open-heartedness towards ourselves. The inner voice becomes demanding, critical, judgmental. This voice was / still is to keep us alert, overly vigilant. It could not afford to be gentle, warm and patient. So learning to be kind to yourself is a must.

Respect

Both the therapist and the client deserve respect in every situation. Respect for one's own path, for the power of evolution, for the intricacies of the psyche, for the mystery of the body. All compulsions, addictions, harmful habits, limiting adaptation patterns had and can still have a very good reason why they exist. As individuals, especially as infants or children, we do not have much influence over the reactivity of the nervous system, over the choice of adaptive responses. Life circumstances, culture, religion, traditions and family relationships create unique conditions for the formation of our personality. Only respecting one's own path opens the space for change. Respect does not mean inaction, acquiescence and justification. Respect is acting without judgment and resentment. It is looking for better solutions and tools with openness and acceptance.

Maturity and responsibility

Only from the position of an adult do we have access to agency. Trauma infects us with a sense of powerlessness, frustration and helplessness, which leads to discouragement and lowered self-esteem. With such an infection, it's easy to fall into a child/victim role and look for mom or dad in the therapist, so that they finally pay attention, love and save us. The child/victim attitude amplifies unconscious painful reactions and compulsions instead of healing them. The attitude of an adult is related to taking responsibility for one's behaviour, choices and experiences, for one's emotions. It is not an easy path, it can be full of challenges, pains, stumbles and disappointments. But the regained qualities that trauma takes away from us, such as agency, strength, decisiveness, independence and freedom, are so worth the journey.

Link to the video with English subtitles:

Translated by: Galina Tarasiuk, Marta Ferenc.